If you think I'm plain spoken...

I ran across this YouTuber a few months back. His name is Louis Rossmann and he runs a successful repair business in New York City primarily dealing with Apple hardware from what I've gathered.

He's down to earth, plain spoken and entertaining to watch all while offering up good information.

If only more people in IT were like this guy.

This video shows him looking at typical IT job listings and showing us just how ridiculous they are.

If you're feeling down just remember that Louis wouldn't get the time of day from anyone who posted these jobs regardless of his level of talent and business success.

Check him out and subscribe if you find his musings valuable...

Take control of those nightmare technical interviews

I had a recent experience that was a perfect example of what it's like to go through a bad technical interview.

I say "bad" because the whole time I was there it was less about what I knew and more about trying to make me look like an idiot.

Yeah, I know there's such a thing as the hot seat and technical interviews are designed to be tough.  But we strayed from the technical into the psychological for no good reason other than one of the guys across the table from me just wasn't going to ever be a fan.  It became a game of minefields.

Thing is, I wasn't playing which just made the inquisitor across the table make more of an ass out of himself the longer it went on.

I've often said that the interview process is adversarial.  The premise being that you're either lying, unqualified or unworthy of being in the same room with a "guru."

In the video below I give you some pointers on how to get the best outcome you can without sacrificing your dignity in the process.

If you can, make a positive out of a negative.

IT Certifications are still a load of BS

IT Certifications are still bullshit....

I won't accept any opinion to the contrary.  Plain and simple what IT certification was supposed to provide to non-technical people was a measurement to evaluate skills competency. It's still sold that way but the sad fact is, nothing could be further from reality.   The bulk of IT certifications are about as reliable as a Yelp! review.

It was IT that really started the current certification craze that has spread to other industries.  While some might argue that the ASE ( Automotive Service Excellence)  programs beat them to it I'd say you were wrong.

Here's why.

Where an ASE certification generally involves some of the same types of procedures for their testing, there's also a requirement to have "hands-on" experience.   In fact you can't even take the written portion of the test until you can show a period of actual work experience.  In other words, experience counts.

IT certification with very limited exception doesn't work that way. 

Check your local bookstore (if you can find one) and you'll see rows filled to the brim with certification "exam cram" books.   For many a few hundred dollars worth of these tomes is all that's necessary to effectively pass an exam.

When you crack one open you'll find it organized similar to study books for passing college entrance exams.

There's a reason for that.  Just like standardized testing in schools and the SAT's, IT certification programs are designed to "teach to the test."  No more and ultimately a whole lot less. 

In the end just like the SAT's you're going to forget 90% of the limited learning you may have gleaned from all your "cramming" anyway.

I don't know about you but that doesn't sound like a great model to measure anybody's competency.

But it's not about competency, it's about marketing...

I'll give you a recent example that happened just the other day.

As you know I've been in the field for close to a quarter of a  decade.  I cut my teeth setting up servers and networks in the days when people thought email was just a fad.  So ok,  I've been around a bit and done some stuff.

Today I went on an interview for a position that was decidedly "entry-level" but I'm a humble guy.  I've been working for less than cutting edge clients over the past few years so I'm willing to take a hit in the wallet (and as it turns out my dignity) to get up to speed on the latest and greatest.

As I at down with the hiring manager I had already done my homework.  I knew his background ( thanks LinkedIn) knew what the company did, memorized the job description and what jobs like this typically paid.

As the conversation wore on and I did my spiel about my background and experience those fatal words fell from his lips.

"Do you have any certifications?"

I did but was honest and told him they weren't current.

I've become a student of the subtleties of body language and I instantly recognized a furrowed brow after sharing that information.  He uttered, " They're not current?"

Slightly annoyed I said, "No, but the $60,000 in student loans from 2 IT degrees and 24 years experience are."

More brow action and the start of some head shaking when he said, " I need certifications to make sure my customers get helped.."

In my head I started screaming, " Wrong, wrong, wrong, 1000 times wrong!  You need competency not certification!" 

Instead of making a scene, however, I just said, "stop, we're done here."

I cut the interview short, something I would never consider doing especially since things aren't that great these days but as I said, I'm a student of subtlety.

As I got up and thanked this misguided moron for his time I looked straight at him and said, " I find zero value in certifications."

He actually looked surprised as I headed for the door.  

What, was I supposed to waste even more of our time on a job neither of us wanted me to have?

I should mention this MORON was a lord high mucky muck with the entirety of his background  not in IT but in sales over the past 20 years.  Not one day spent ever doing ANYTHING in IT but selling products.   Let's face it, a salesman sells a server the same way he'll sell you a used car.

To be honest I was actually offended that some *fat sales goon was casting aspersions on my qualification and abilities based on nothing more than being blessed by  another glorified "product."  That product  being certifications. 

* (and he was fat, like add a seat belt extender to his 7 series BMW fat)

That's all an IT certification is folks, a stupid product.  Just like your phone or your tablet.  It's a sales tool used by marketers to fool unwary customers into believing in their credibility.  As pure product, it's sold to IT folks as a shortcut to relevancy.  Problem is, It's no more a measure of ability or competency than those standardized tests I mentioned earlier.  Folks, we already know what dividends those have paid.

This interview was over the minute he professed his undying love of certifications.  He had made a judgment call based on a flawed premise.  He chose to Ignore experience and competency for the sake of a marketing tool.  He never bothered to even try to find out what I knew, he was only interested in the labels.  If he was serious he would have had a technical person in on the interview.

The arrogance and dismissive attitude is what really rubbed me wrong.  Honestly, if I'd stayed any longer I might have been much more demonstrative of my irritation with him.

To be fair, however, I couldn't expect any more from someone who was really unqualified to interview me for any technical position.  It would be like me trying to hire someone to run a nuclear power plant. 

I'd have been better served by just blowing this interview off.  As it was it cost me 4 gallons of gas just to get there.  Wasted time, wasted effort and a waste of limited resources.

It's a problem that has spread through the industry like an STD without a prescription cream.   Strangely, however, it seems that the higher the pay grade the less emphasis there is on such things.  

For example, I've yet to meet an IT manager in the past decade who had or was required to have anything like the demands for certification that I see for low and mid level IT jobs.  Apparently the guys who make the tough calls aren't chosen based on their labels.

The bottom line is that certifications are just a crutch for ignorant managers and organizations.  Think I'm wrong?  Well friend you can proceed straight to hell with due haste.  I won't bother with anyone who thinks otherwise because I've seen the detrimental effect on the industry.  I sure as hell won't be judged by anyone like that either.

I may go hungry and homeless for my point of view but hell, I will anyway if things continue on like they are.  Am I against education and keeping my skills up?  Not at all and you're missing the point.  IT certifications don't teach skills nor do they test them.  They exist only for their own benefit as a product which makes them useless as a measure of competency.  Who cares if I'm good at playing with a marketing tool if I can't fix your problem!  

Ah, and the thing that proves my point the best is the investment required to acquire this "product."  

I haven't mentioned to this point the high cost that YOU not the employer has to shoulder to get these certs.  Training materials and "classes" can run into the hundreds even thousands of dollars.  It's an industry in itself producing a product of little more than the facade of competency.  And just like any other product it must be purchased over and over again.  Here's the saddest part of it...I haven't found any company in the past 2 decades that would pay for a certification they demanded for a position.  Sorry you poor misguided souls but that aint me, I'd rather spend that money on rent thank you very much!

Until  IT certifications are administered more like the ASE program (and by the way, Why the hell aren't  they? ) they serve no purpose as anything but a sham product. 

Which makes sense, this fat moron I interviewed with knew nothing about IT other than selling products.  He was a salesman not an IT professional so I can understand why he was so enamored with certifications.  He was  just too ignorant to know any better.

If you're OK being evaluated like an IPhone or a pair of shoes then by all means enjoy your naive bliss just stay away from anywhere I'm working.

I don't need your kind of "help."

IT jobs and out of state recruiters

It would be completely legitimate to mistake my adventures in IT job hunting for little more than thinly veiled hit pieces.  In a way they are but only to illustrate the antics of the bad players. 

Reality check!  You really need to take off the rose colored glasses and stop taking job-seeking advice from 1963.

Make no mistake, the people you're interviewing with are not your, "Friends, Romans, Countrymen.." or anyone else with your best interests at heart.  

They're in it for them so you'd better know what's in it for you because giving your 2 weeks notice 3 weeks into the job is too late to do your due diligence.

It's not like I'm actually endeavoring to end up on American HR's Least Wanted...

I've just been (un)fortunate enough to collect the evidence from the worst offenders.  I'm not saying that everyone you'll ever interview with is out to screw you but everyone has an agenda and whether or not you want to satisfy it is a personal choice.  It's only fair that you have all the information before you sign on the dotted line.

Thing is, you rarely get the dossier before you get to the conference room so try to pick up your hints from clues in the job posting.  An overly aggressive tone is obvious with words like "Professionals Only" or "Must have" before every sentence.  What may not be are terms like "24/7 environment"  That's not boasting about their uptime, they're expecting anyone they hire to submit to that availability.  At least you know up front but better run organizations don't require indentured servitude. 

Only James Bond is on call 24/7 and I can guarantee you're not going to have near as much fun as he does...

It gets trickier if it's a blind phone screen.  You have to listen for the clues.  Are they reading questions out of a book? Is there more than one person on the call?  Is the demeanor friendly or have you felt more warmth from your last visit to the DMV.  Is every question answered with a question or a string of rehearsed responses.  What if you go off their script?  Do they seem annoyed, combative or deflect the query?  In that kind of scenario I wouldn't ask about covered parking.

Of course defenders of the HR and recruiting professions will tell you every story has 2 sides but when it comes to job interviews it's not about them it's about you.  The key attribute any hiring manager wants to see is submission.  They're the boss and it's their game but it seems more often than not they're not playing fair.

All the HR pundits will give you sage advice about being the most attractive candidate but in the end it may as well be admonitions from your mother....

"Sit up straight!, mind your manners! Eat your vegetables.."  Great advice....if you came to adulthood after being raised by wolves but useless otherwise.

Thus we come to my latest, "Hit Piece"

First some background.

I received a phone call from an out of state recruiter for a local position that was to last for 7 weeks.  I usually don't give much weight to out of state recruiters mostly because they rarely have a good relationship with the potential employer.  That's why I don't usually bother with them.  Their relationship with hiring managers is critical to your success.  If they don't have one,you may as well be applying to a plain old Want Ad and throwing your unemployment checks in the trash.

Out of state recruiters are little use to you in prepping for the interview because all they know is what's printed in the job order.  It literally turns into seeing which crap sticks to the wall by sending a parade of hopefuls into the interview process.  It's a roll of the dice based on a punch list of skills and questionable reasoning.

On the other side of the equation (aka: the hiring manager,) it doesn't say much for the company's selection process if they can't be bothered to be a more active participant.  The selection of an agency that has no local presence was likely based on 2 glaring factors that never work in your favor. 

First,  they're probably cheap, as out of state firms can underbid local firms due to low overhead.  All they need is an Internet connection and a phone to do their job.   

Hey! Cheap is great for stuff you buy by the pound but unless you wanted to be treated like a bag of walnuts, it's not going to go well for you.    

Second, it shows the employer has little interest in you as the candidate or any candidate for that matter.  They're just  looking for a warm body that won't make too much trouble (In this case "Trouble" is defined as having a soul).  If that's you, well, you probably stopped reading at the second paragraph and are busily sanitizing your web cache before anyone finds out you came here.  :-)

Against my better judgment, I went ahead with the phone interview.  Fortunately, it gave me a splendid example of how broken the process is.

It began with this email... (names changed)

-----------------------

Hi (candidate),

Thank you for submitting over your resume for the Windows Administrator position in Phoenix, AZ.  I would like to discuss the opportunity with further please call me when you have time to chat.

Thanks,

-----------------------

I called, went through initial screening and received this...

-----------------------

Hi (Candidate),

Thanks for your time today and for your interest in the 7 week contract position with (company).  I am having our Technical Engineer Tom (techguy) give you a call today at 10:00am PST (11:00am MT) to discuss the technical components of the position. 

Please confirm that you have received this email and are set to speak with Tom.  After your conversation with Tom we will get you submitted over for the position and hopefully have next steps very quickly.

Thanks,

-----------------------

Which got me to the tech screener after sending the confirmation.  Apparently I passed muster with "Tom."

-----------------------

Hi (Candidate,)

Could you do a phone interview tomorrow between 1 and 3?

Thanks

-----------------------

Which of course I made sure I was available for.  I was sent an email with a phone number and conference ID.  The hiring manager couldn't be bothered to call me, instead I had to play with the voicemail system just to talk to him.  Not a good sign, I felt like I was on a treadmill...

Voicemail jail aside, I thought the call went well and lasted about 30 minutes.  He threw a surprise question about working weekends (the first I heard of it and another sign the recruiter had never spoken to him)  but other than that there was nothing out of the ordinary.  What was strange was no technical questions for a very technical job.  It was as though we were just going through the motions.  I tried to keep it light and friendly and the manager seemed to respond well but he wasn't exactly a "touchy-feely" kind of guy.  Oh, and his name was "Hans" and he spoke with a bit of an accent. Achtung baby!

Still, I could have been wrong so I let the recruiter know I thought the interview went well and waited to hear back.  I had no contact information for "Hans" so the whole "thank you" note was impossible.  Although I guess I could have shown some initiative and hacked their phone system to find him...Nah, Sorry HR gurus, I guess I failed you...

So imagine my surprise (not really) when I got this back the following Monday.

-----------------------

They have decided to pass, here was the specifics feedback from our client.  Hope this helps with future interviews!

“Spoke to "applicant" and was not too impressed. He was 5 minutes late to the meeting, no apologies and overall a fairly familiar approach to the conversation. Little too much for an interview, don’t think it will be a good fit to what we need.”

-----------------------

Ok, first off, I wasn't late by the clocks I was looking at and apparently this guy takes being friendly and responsive as "familiar."  

Geez, sorry Kommandant!

It could be a cultural conflict or this guy's just a jerk.  I can tell you that out of hundreds of interviews I've had in my career I can count on one hand the number of people that have responded this way.  In most cases I've found people like this usually end up in a padded room at some point in their lives.

This also shows how detrimental it can be when a recruiter doesn't know their client.  Remember I talked to 2 screeners before getting to the final screening with the client.  There were no issues and I didn't act any differently with "Hans.". 

Here's my email response...

-----------------------

Really?  Didn’t get that read from him during the conversation.

Also didn’t realize that being personable was a character flaw. 

I wasn’t any different with him than I was with you or your tech screener. 

This was supposed to be short term anyway so he shouldn’t be looking for somebody he has to babysit.

Ah well, this is why I generally don’t like large IT organizations. 

Too many insecure managers caught up in their own inflated egos.  

Thanks anyway.

-----------------------

Here's the final proof of why you should never deal with recruiters that don't know their clients.  The email I got back after I sent the above...

-----------------------

Hi (candidate)

Sounds like he is pretty formal guy if that was the situation.  I do not know him personally sorry this one did not work out!

Thanks

-----------------------

I'd like to say I was sorry too but I can't.  I'm not looking to marry the guy just work for him for 2 months.  Not only did he lie but he let his ego get in front of his judgment. 

In the end it was the perfect confluence of bad recruiting and bad manager.  Learn from it!

You need to stop beating yourself up over things that you have no control over.   IT is rife with screwed up people and lots of them end up in management. 

You can't fix stupid so don't try and just move on to someone who can hold up their end of a conversation. 

Come to think of it, that's good dating advice too!

Know your place

I've been in the IT game for awhile but unlike most of my peers I haven't spent any great amount of time in any one place.  It's not that I don't believe in long-term relationships, on the contrary my average client has been with me at least 5 years.  I'd just rather be as productive as I can be instead of treading water with busywork.

To be successful in consulting you have to learn to be attentive to your client's needs.  That means doing what they need you to do in a timely fashion and then get out of their way.  Often times that means getting out your comfort zone when they throw something at you from left field. 

You have to be adaptable and keep up with current technology but that can be difficult if you're not working in large organizations with big IT budgets. 

Still, you have to realize that whether you're dealing with 15 or 5000 users, at its core IT is always the same.  Everything scales.  The only real difference is the people providing the IT services. 

At some point most IT organizations grow beyond the capabilities of one person.  Maybe it's a specialized application that needs a dedicated person or just plain old growth.  It doesn't matter so long as everyone understands the fundamentals.

I'm not talking about acing your IT exams or memorizing all the Active Directory FSMO roles either.  No, the fundamentals I'm talking about have very little to do with technical buzzwords and everything to do with IT's role in any organization.

In short, know your place. 

That's actually a brick wall I've been running into lately especially in a profession with declining wages and a bad job market.  It seems that IT managers are more concerned about the skill of the day or how many letters follow your name than whether or not you understand IT's role.

Hot skills come and go and to be an expert in anything in IT ultimately has about as much importance as winning first place in a snowman building contest.  Nobody's going to care after tomorrow. 

It's not about the skills, it's about your ability to use them to serve your users.   So long as you have the capabilities to adapt and a point of reference it's not a big deal if you don't match up to someone's skill punch list. 

That's what I attribute whatever success I've enjoyed in my own career to.  My role has been one of service; no more, no less.  Anyone who thinks that IT is anything more than that is quite simply an egomaniac.    

Yes, IT provides the medium that powers a connected world but in the grand scheme of things it's not important for its own sake.  

We in IT simply provide the means for other people to accomplish their goals.  

I'm perfectly ok with that but many in IT aren't and they refuse to hear anything that doesn't glorify the profession.  They inflate their technical accomplishments, create needless workflows (busywork) and body block anything that threatens their fragile egos. 

I've been in the field for quite some time now and while the phrase is tired I literally have forgotten more than most IT managers know at this point.  Familiarity with a specific IT platform is only valuable so long as it remains viable to the organization.  Once it's outlived its usefulness you need to move on but the lessons learned continue to have value.  They are the true definition of skill.  

Whether you're an admin or a CIO you have to realize the value of IT has nothing to do with buzzwords or brands.  It's got everything to do with ability and attitude, however, and they aren't defined by fads.

I actually find it amusing that anyone in IT attributes the word "skill" to anything that has a brand name attached to it.  It's probably the only profession that discriminates based on marketing jargon.  When you consider that the non-IT equivalent to a tech job is an auto mechanic you start to realize how ridiculous it is to be passed over because of familiarity with one brand name over another. 

I mean, does anyone actually believe that a Chevy mechanic is incapable of working on Fords?  

Generally we don't label auto mechanics by their brand affiliation, they're just mechanics.  The skill is in being able to understand automotive systems no matter who made them.  That's because at their core they're designed the same way regardless of whose label is on that grill.

Yet as an IT worker you're led to believe that managing Cisco branded switches has taught you nothing about managing one from HP or Dell.

It's a poor interviewer that doesn't realize that I've spent my career going the extra mile and continually learning new skills to fit my client's needs.  I tend to be more practical and don't spend my nights pouring over the latest database or scripting languages. I'm too practical for that.  I'm only interested in what makes my users happy because I know my value to them depends on it.

I had an opportunity to speak with just such a misinformed IT manager recently concerning an IT support position.  When he asked  the, "Tell me about yourself" question I obliged by giving him a short synopsis of my career and my commitment to serving my users.  In fact I actually told him my view of the value of IT in an organization. 

His response? " Where do you see yourself in five years" 

In other words, he wasn't listening in fact I knew he hadn't even looked at the resume that was forwarded to him from the pleasant HR guy I'd talked to a week before.  

I could excuse the fact that he was 20 minutes late in calling me ( a time he chose by the way) or that he was interviewing me while obviously doing something else. 

What I couldn't excuse was the attitude.

 I knew I'd encountered yet another IT egomaniac who felt threatened by the truth.  At the end he asked if I had any questions and of course I asked him what his ideal candidate looked like. 

By the way hiring managers, it's a great question and people like me only ask it to see if you've been listening to us.  If I don't ask it, I don't care.

He responded with a parade of meaningless buzzwords and brand names (most of which I was familiar with by the way) and nothing about serving the customer.  That told me he was just looking for a mindless automaton and in retrospect I should have ended the call right there.  Unlike him, however, I try not to make snap judgments.

Considering this position was customer facing the number one priority should have been my attitude toward service.  That goes double when you consider how heavily customer facing my career has been to date.  Instead, he chose to focus on buzzwords.  When asked if I had any other questions I gave him the opportunity to come clean. 

I asked, "So what how do you feel about me as a candidate so far?"  His response, " Not too good"

I ended the phone call. 

I've dealt with hundreds just like him and knew we were never going to be on the same page.  Being in the field as long as I have been I've had the opportunity to be on the other side of the desk.  That means I have my own criteria in mind whenever I'm in the interview process.

 For example; If I'd feel comfortable hiring my potential boss in my own organization then I know it's going to be a good fit.  If, however, I know I'd be kicking them out the door faster than they came in...

Look IT Managers, If you're passing over dedicated, motivated and experienced candidates because their qualifications don't stroke your ego you really need to get out of the field.  Somehow, somewhere along the line you've forgotten your place and now...

You're just in the way.